“I lead with an ‘I don’t give a f— attitude.” At Marie Claire’s Power Moms gala, Gabrielle Union dared the world to drop its judgment—after revealing the gut-wrench of adenomyosis, nine lost pregnancies, and the raw shame of surrogacy. Now she owns her narrative like no other.
When she married Dwyane Wade in 2014, she gained a family. Zaire, Zaya, Xavier, and Dahveon Morris were already in the picture, and she stepped in with open arms. Then, in 2018, came Kaavia, the daughter she shares biologically with Dwyane, born through surrogacy, a process that reshaped her completely.
On May 7, 2025, Union was honored as one of Marie Claire and Moms First’s inaugural Power Moms—a nod to the fight behind her motherhood. She stood alongside six other trailblazers, but Gabrielle’s story carried its own weight. She’d spent years enduring IVF cycles, never understanding why her body wasn’t responding, only to be diagnosed with adenomyosis later. That diagnosis shattered her. She described herself as “broken into pieces, but shattered into fine dust scattering in the wind.” Still, through that pain came Kaavia—and a new chapter.
Gabrielle didn’t hold back while talking to Marie Claire for their The Motherhood Issue, about how surrogacy felt. “For me, it felt like failure. My body failed,” she said with raw honesty. She described watching someone else carry her child as “such a f—ing public humiliation.” She admitted, “Surrogacy felt like a c—old; watching somebody do something I can’t do. To be there for somebody else succeeding where I failed—it is a mind f— for people who have had my journey and who feel similarly.” She described herself as ‘broken into fine dust,’ powerless, watching another carry the child she longed for.
Union admitted that the surrogacy felt like a failure and “humiliation,’” yet refused to bow to outside judgement- “First of all, nobody has the balls to say that s— to my face… But also I think I lead with an ‘I don’t give a f— attitude.’” But the truth is, she still struggles. “No. I’ll never have peace with it [surrogacy], ever,” she said. Because that kind of longing doesn’t just vanish, even when the baby is finally in your arms.
And yet, there’s no room left for shame. Gabrielle knows what she’s built. “Your baby is here. Your child is here. Healthy. Amazing,” she reminds herself. Her daughter is thriving, and so is she—but not because it was easy. Because she kept showing up. That’s what makes her powerful—not just that she’s a mom, but that she never stopped fighting to be one.
Gabrielle Union: facing criticism and finding empathy
The internet, of course, had thoughts. After Union’s raw and brutally honest interview, it wasn’t long before social media lit up, especially over one specific analogy. Her description of watching someone else carry her child as feeling like being “c—olded” struck a nerve online. Many found it jarring, even inappropriate, trolling her for what they saw as a weird or extreme comparison. Still, while the internet can be quick to pounce, it can also rally in empathy. And in Gabrielle’s case, many did just that. Especially those who’d walked a similar path. One fan wrote, “Her feelings. Let’s normalise allowing people to feel how they feel even if they don’t agree. Her experience. Her feelings.”
“Damn, that’s heavy. Respect her openness about a tough journey.” That one comment floating around social media pretty much captured the sentiment of those who truly understood the depth of Union’s story. It was her book, You Got Anything Stronger?, where she opened up about her surrogacy journey. “I felt a responsibility to share,” she said, explaining why she chose to open up in, marked by years of miscarriages, IVF treatments, and finally, surrogacy.
Via Instagram
“My heart breaks for women who actually want kids but can’t… They usually are the best parents.” For years, Gabrielle struggled with multiple miscarriages, a battle compounded by her age and lifestyle. In her memoir, We’re Going To Need More Wine, she revealed the emotional toll of trying to get pregnant. “For three years, my body has been a prisoner of trying to get pregnant —I’ve either been about to go into an in vitro fertilization (IVF) cycle, in the middle of an IVF cycle or coming out of an IVF cycle…” she wrote, shedding light on the relentless physical and emotional exhaustion she endured.
Amid the backlash and praise, one voice online struck a chord: “Her feelings are valid. The world places so much pressure on a woman carrying and bringing a child—it can feel embarrassing when your body doesn’t allow you to do one or both. Hopefully she’s able to see that it doesn’t even matter because she has a wonderful child.” That’s exactly what Gabrielle eventually came to understand. Gabrielle Union’s journey to motherhood wasn’t just about having a child—it was about doing the internal work to break generational pain. “Choosing to heal past traumas was the best preparation for motherhood,” she wrote, crediting therapy, reflection, and vulnerability as the foundation for how she shows up as a parent. And now, her children—especially Kaavia—know that love firsthand.
Another comment, filled with nuance, added, “Even though having surrogates open and available to help families every single day, her point is very valid. Having that bond with your baby while pregnant is something completely separate… and what every mother should experience.” That emotional distance was something Gabrielle never sugarcoated. And yet, it was through writing that she began to process what couldn’t be spoken aloud. Some parents journal. Others lean on milestones. Gabrielle wrote to survive. Writing gave her clarity, control, and, in her own words, made her feel “liberated.”
Gabrielle Union has proven that motherhood isn’t defined by how a child arrives, but by the love and commitment a parent pours into them. By sharing her raw, emotional truth, she’s paved the way for other women and parents who feel isolated in their struggles.
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