In 1973, Dale Earnhardt Sr. stood in his kitchen when his life changed forever. His father, Ralph Earnhardt, suffered a fatal heart attack at just 45. The loss hit Dale Sr. harder than many ever knew. Though known as “The Intimidator” on track, a bold, fearless racer, off track, Dale Sr. quietly mourned his father for years. “I stayed mad for a year after that,” he confessed years later. He wasn’t angry at Ralph. He was angry at the world, maybe even at fate. But as time passed, he found comfort in memories and Ralph’s lessons.
In a 1987 interview, Dale Sr. admitted, “When you have problems, you think back at something Ralph Earnhardt would’ve done… I’ve missed him more because of the accomplishments I’ve made.” Dale Sr. deeply wished his father could have seen his success, not just on the track, but in life. From racing to hunting, he often thought about how much his father would have enjoyed sharing those moments. What changed his life, he said, was bringing his children, Dale Jr. and Kelley, under his roof. That gave him a new sense of purpose.
“I think what changed my life was getting my kids under my roof from a previous marriage,” he reflected. In that role, Dale Sr. did what he thought was best, sometimes firm, sometimes distant, but always committed. Still, the emotional scars of Ralph’s sudden death lingered. Unlike Ralph, Dale Sr. lived long enough to witness his son’s early rise in the sport. He saw Dale Jr. take his first laps in an Xfinity car and became a champion. But fate, cruel as it is, still kept the cycle going. Just when father and son had begun to bond over racing, Dale Sr. was gone. The hole it left in Dale Jr.’s life forced him to face old scars. And out of that pain, he found his own path forward, built around four simple but powerful words.
A hard learned lesson for Dale Earnhardt Jr.
On February 18, 2001, the final lap of the Daytona 500 saw a crash that forever changed NASCAR. Dale Earnhardt Sr. was running third, protecting his son Dale Jr. and friend Michael Waltrip, who were leading the race. As Waltrip crossed the finish line for his first-ever win, Dale Sr. hit the wall. The celebration quickly turned to sorrow. The Intimidator was gone. His death stunned the sport. But the pain ran deepest in the son he had just started to truly connect with.
Now, more than two decades after that incident, Dale Jr. has opened up about how he dealt with it. In an interview with Rubbin’ is Racing, he talked about grief, resilience, and how he pushed through unimaginable loss. “I didn’t know when I was going to lose my dad, but I knew it would happen. You don’t get to choose whether you experience it or not… I learned that the day after my dad died, you still get up the next morning… The world keeps going. You can sit on the sidelines as long as you want, but eventually, you’ve got to get back in the groove, back in the rotation, and make something happen. Do something,” he said. Those weren’t just words. They became a belief system that he still lives by.
Dale Jr. explained that after the loss, he looked out the window and saw life moving on. That was the moment it clicked; he had to move too. Just months after losing his dad, Dale Jr. returned to Daytona for the 2001 Pepsi 400. Emotions were boiling beneath the surface. The crowd held its breath. It had been 39 races since his last win. But that night, Junior delivered the race of his life. He led 116 of 160 laps and drove like a man possessed. He crossed the line first, and the grandstands erupted.
Victory Lane was filled with tears. “I dedicate this win to him. There ain’t nobody else I could dedicate this win to that it would mean more to me,” Dale Jr. told NBC. He hugged Waltrip and crew members. He spun wild donuts in the infield and looked up at the skid marks from the media center. But long before the trophies, Dale Jr. had a tough road. At age five, his house burned down. That morning, he watched it crumble with his mom.
By evening, he was living with his dad, rummaging through an old toy box. Soon after, his mom gave up custody so Dale Sr. could raise the kids. Then came military school, behavior issues, and therapy. “Man, I was a troubled kid… I was really probably more of a disappointment up until probably 1996, ’97 when I started driving in the Xfinity Series in a couple races for Dad and started showing ‘hey, there’s some purpose for me here and here’s direction for me’” he told Danica Patrick in 2017.
Even racing didn’t erase the scars. He admitted that his early years were full of acting out just to get his father’s attention. “I was just wanting his attention. I didn’t know it, because I didn’t want his attention in a negative way, I didn’t want whoopin’s and all that stuff… It felt like the only way I could get him to talk to me or notice me was if I did something wrong or rebelled or fall back or whatever or made things difficult,” he further added. But when Junior began racing full-time, something clicked. Finally, they were speaking the same language.
When Dale Sr. blocked Darrell Waltrip from signing Dale Jr.
In the late 1990s, Darrell Waltrip, one of NASCAR’s greats and a longtime rival of Dale Earnhardt Sr., tried to sign Dale Jr. to his own team. The timing was right. Junior had just started to gain traction, and his name alone brought big sponsor interest. Waltrip approached Dale Sr. to ask about his intentions. “What’s your plan for Dale Jr.?” he asked. Dale Sr.’s response was blunt and firm. “You stay away from him. You’ll pay him too damn much money. I won’t be able to compete with you. I got plans for him,” he said.
That moment showed the dual nature of Dale Earnhardt Sr., tough as nails, but fiercely protective. He saw potential in Junior and wasn’t about to lose him to another team, even one run by a friend. Later, he told Waltrip that Junior had signed a massive $10 million Budweiser deal, the biggest in NASCAR at the time. Waltrip recalled that phone call with a laugh and respect during a recent conversation with Dale Jr on his podcast.
But the deal wasn’t just about money. Don Hawk, then-president of DEI, said the decision wasn’t financial. “It was about who could take him the farthest,” he noted. Dale Sr. had a vision, and keeping Junior in-house was part of it. That one conversation may have changed the path of Jr.’s career forever. It also underscored just how much Dale Sr. wanted to build something lasting, not just for himself, but for his son.
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