College football has always been a breeding ground for chaos. Wild finishes, walk-on legends, coaches melting down on live TV. But every so often, a name comes through the pipeline so ridiculous, so perfectly college football, that even ESPN—the network itself—is forced to pause and say: wait, what?
If you thought college football names couldn’t get any wilder than General Booty, Kool-Aid McKinstry, Moh Bility, Demon Clowney (who even name their kid demon?) or Decoldest Crawford, buckle up, folks. Because Bowling Green’s new linebacker just entered the chat. Meet Gideon ESPN Lampron. The man’s middle name is ESPN. All caps. No periods. No spaces. And it’s not a nickname. It’s the name on his actual, legal birth certificate. Even the suits over at ESPN had to do a double take when they saw this one.
So how the heck did this happen? Well, let’s just say Gideon’s dad, Marty Lampron, might be the most committed sports dad in America—or at least the notorious. Not even The Notorious himself, Conor McGregor would do something wild like Marty.
The story goes like this: Marty, a Boston guy through and through, grew up worshiping Larry Bird. And the original agreement with his wife Jenniffer was that Gideon’s middle name would be “Xavior.” But the man wanted to name his kid after Larry Bird, shockingly, she wasn’t exactly on board with naming their child after a Celtics legend. But Marty had other plans. So Marty, ever the schemer, cooked up Plan B: name the kid after the worldwide leader in sports. Jenniffer shut that idea down, too. Or so she thought.
Here’s where it gets legendary. Jenniffer gives birth to Gideon, and in that post-labor haze, she’s understandably out of it. In walks the nurse with the birth certificate paperwork. And Marty? He sees his shot and takes it. “The nurse comes in for me to sign the birth certificate,” Marty recalled. “When I signed it, I literally printed ESPN in capital letters. She was out cold when I did it.”
When Jenniffer wakes up, he tells her what he did. Naturally, she thinks he’s joking. “No, you didn’t.” Oh, but Marty did. Marty spilled: “She wasn’t happy with me.” Obviously, which parent would be? And just like that, Gideon ESPN Lampron was born — literally and legally.
And honestly? Marty’s gamble is paying off. Gideon isn’t just walking around with the most absurd middle name in college football for the clout — the kid can flat-out ball. He started as a zero-star recruit at Dayton, grinding his way up from the FCS level. After redshirting in 2022, he finally saw the field in 2023. He didn’t even start most of the games, but still finished sixth on the team in tackles, with 32 of his 51 stops coming down the stretch. Then came 2024, where Lampron went off: 99 tackles, 23.5 tackles for loss, 6.5 sacks, and 2 forced fumbles. He even landed on the AP FCS All-American First Team.
Now? He’s hit the transfer portal jackpot and is suiting up for Bowling Green, ready to show the MAC what’s up and maybe even work his way onto an NFL scout’s radar. Oh, and for those thinking the ESPN thing was just a social media stunt? Nope. Lampron’s had it on his Instagram and X profiles forever. Most folks just assumed it was some kind of nickname. Now that the truth is out? The internet’s eating it up.
Talking about it, Gideon told the Morning Journal, “I want to make my dad proud, because him making my middle name ‘ESPN,’ it has set some expectations. I am just trying to deliver. My dad loves watching me play sports more than anything in his life… I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Honestly? That’s wholesome as hell. Sure, his friends have laughed about it, but Gideon’s owning it, and now the whole country knows.
Fans call for NIL deals as ESPN reacts””
The moment ESPN’s official Instagram posted Gideon’s full name—“Bowling Green has a linebacker named Gideon ESPN Lampron ”—the college football world absolutely exploded.
And of course, it didn’t take long before the comment section became a full-blown roast session-meets-NIL town hall “Give him a NIL deal.” On the surface, that sounds like the move of the century. Unfortunately for fans, ESPN isn’t exactly in the business of shelling out NIL contracts—they’re a media network, not a recruiting booster collective. But the fans aren’t wrong. Gideon literally embodies their brand. He’s a walking, talking, shoulder-popping billboard for them.
And let’s be real, if Kool-Aid can sign former bama CB Kool-aid McKinstry, ESPN can at least throw this man a mic or a mini-segment.
Another dropped,“What the Key and Peely?” his one isn’t even an insult—it’s a top-tier compliment in disguise. Gideon ESPN Lampron feels like a character Jordan Peele and Keegan-Michael Key dreamed up in a fever dream. The name, the origin story, the mother not knowing—it’s peak “East/West Bowl” lore. But he’s real. And he hits hard enough to turn your favorite RB into a soundbite. The man literally recorded for 99 tackles in 2024.
One more fan laughed, “Someone’s dad loves sports a little too much?” Absolutely. This is the dad move of the decade. Gideon even admitted it—his dad is the biggest sports fan in the house. And you know what? It worked. Kid got named after a sports network, turned into an All-American linebacker, and is now trending. Marty might’ve just mastered parenting.
And then, of course, “Made for NIL ” This is where it gets real. Forget just jokes—Gideon has brand value. His name alone has viral pull. If ESPN doesn’t snatch him up, someone else will. Throw him in a segment with Dan Orlovsky. Give him a headset, let him break down MAC film with Mina Kimes. Worst-case scenario? ESPN the Network just earned a personality named ESPN the Player.
But not everyone was in their research bag. One fan dropped the coldest line of the day: “And he won’t have games on ESPN cause it’s Bowling Green.” Now this fan tried it—but missed. Bowling Green plays plenty of games on ESPN2 and ESPNU, especially during MACtion nights and rivalry weeks. In fact, Gideon will be playing on ESPN this fall. Which makes it even better. ESPN broadcasting ESPN. You can’t script that.
What started as a dad’s sneaky name change in a hospital room is now turning into one of the most viral stories in college football. Gideon ESPN Lampron isn’t just a name you laugh at—he’s a linebacker you better game-plan for. He represents everything we love about college football: chaos, comedy, heart, and that underdog energy. From a zero-star recruit to FCS All-American to MAC breakout candidate, his story is no joke. But his name? It’ll keep cracking people up until draft day.
And if ESPN doesn’t sign him to some sort of NIL media role, they’re missing the easiest win of the decade.
The post College Football LB Leaves ESPN Stunned with Middle Name, Unbeknownst to Mother appeared first on EssentiallySports.