Heartbroken by Constant Trauma, Illinois Gymnastics Star Makes Saddening Confession

5 min read

When it comes to the competitive sphere, it is one’s talent and athletic prowess that should matter the most. However, for a 23-year-old gymnast from the University of Illinois, the story turned out to be quite different. Despite all his athletic success, the gymnast had to face several barriers before being accepted into college sports. The reason? It was because of his sexual identity and how others perceived and reacted to it. So much so that he had to change NCAA teams for the same. 

Sam Phillips made his name as a decorated NCAA gymnast at Nebraska. While the school is reputed for its iconic athlete programs, there were some dark realities that Philips happened to come face to face with. Phillips soon realized that the program lacked support for inclusive athletes like him. While trying to create a positive impact on the LGBTQ+ community, the gymnast was shocked to find out that the environment was utterly unfavorable. 

Speaking with Queerty recently ahead of the screening of Becoming Sam Phillips at the Omaha Film Festival, the gymnast poured out his heart. He stated how he had significant difficulty in mixing with the community. Phillips recalled being a victim of microaggressions and derogatory jokes. He said, “There’s a line, and a lot of things went over the line. I’ve been called the f-slur.”

“When I walk out of a room, people look at me. I had two, three friends on the football team and I asked them one day, ‘What do people think that you’re friends with me?’” said Phillips. He mentioned how his teammates were scared to talk to him. Some of his friends from the football team also openly admitted that he was being made fun of. 

Phillips understood what the problem was. He opined that the moment people saw someone being friendly with him, that person was instantly slapped with a ‘gay’ identity. This fear of getting judged resulted in almost everyone trying to avoid Sam Phillips. What’s worse is that Phillips also had his coach turning away from him. After asking his coach to take part in a Pride Meet, he got rejected, “Then followed it up with, ‘You know I’m a conservative, right?’ Just ignoring the whole conversation we could’ve had.” And this was not the end of his trauma. Phillips had more to come from another one of his coaches. 

Phillips was told by his volunteer coach that he was h—phobic! Further detailing the extent of his hurdles, Phillips stated, “Our volunteer coach, there are buildings on campus named after him. He openly said he’s h—phobic, called me “brown sugar.” A lot of openly derogatory statements, and then just a lot of under-the-table micro aggressions.” However, despite everything he has faced, Sam Phillips is not ready to give up. Continuing to make a positive impact, Phillips wants to be a role model.

Sam Phillips is on a mission to become the role model he once needed

Sam Phillips is determined to become a role model. The role model that he never had growing up. As one of the few openly gay gymnasts in the NCAA, Phillips very well understands the importance of visibility and representation in sports. His goal is clear: create a more inclusive and accepting environment for the next generation of athletes. 

“Seeing others like me would have been huge for me,” Phillips admitted, highlighting how the presence of a role model could have made his own journey easier. Phillips is committed to using his platform to inspire and support young athletes who may feel isolated or different.

Back in 2023, Sam shared, “Inclusivity is huge for me… Especially being able to be someone in a space where you are a minority and showing others that you can be yourself.” By embracing his identity and encouraging others to do the same, Phillips hopes to break down barriers and create a sense of belonging for all athletes, regardless of their background or identity.

His leadership extends beyond words. Phillips played a pivotal role in starting the first chapter for student-athletes — a safe space where queer athletes and their allies can express themselves without fear of judgment. This initiative reflects his broader mission to foster an environment where athletes feel valued and accepted. “So I do it for the boys behind me who need to see me in these spaces to be comfortable with myself growing up,” Phillips stated, underscoring the personal motivation behind his advocacy.

With his commitment to authenticity and inclusivity, Phillips is already setting the foundation to become the role model he once wished for. His journey is not just about personal success. Rather, it’s about opening doors for others to walk through confidently and unapologetically.

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